After a particularly tough week at the hospital, where I witnessed yet another preventable death, I felt emotionally and mentally drained. It was one of those moments that makes you question everything: Why am I here? How do I keep going when the system feels so broken? These moments weigh heavily, especially when you care deeply, but you feel powerless to change the outcomes.

Thankfully, it was time for a much-needed break and a chance to visit friends in Seattle, Washington. That week was such a gift—a chance to step away from the intensity of the hospital and reconnect with people who mean a lot to me. It had been over a year since I last saw them, and catching up, meeting their child, and simply enjoying time together was restorative. I spent a lot of time outdoors, exploring the mountains, hiking trails, and breathing in the fresh, cool air. The stillness of nature contrasted so sharply with the chaos of the hospital. It was exactly what I needed to unwind, regain some peace of mind, and refocus before heading into my next challenge: the Mercy Ships onboarding program at the ISC in Texas.

The onboarding program is designed for people who have committed to serving with Mercy Ships for a year or more. Most volunteers do it at the very beginning of their service to prepare for their mission. But in my case, I had already been serving for 2.5 years, so I was understandably a bit skeptical. I wasn’t convinced I would gain much from the program at this stage. After all, I had already lived the experience—the intense highs and lows of service, the challenges of working in a hospital in Sierra Leone, and the joys of being part of a global community on the ship. What more could onboarding offer me?

Still, I tried to keep an open mind. Even if I didn’t walk away with new insights about Mercy Ships, I hoped the experience might offer a chance to reflect on my journey so far and maybe even recharge me for what lies ahead.

As it turned out, the most significant lessons I learned weren’t about Mercy Ships at all. The biggest impact came from the things I discovered about myself, my relationship with God, and the new people I got to meet. I realised that, despite my experience, there was still so much to learn about how I operate in service and in life, and that this wasn’t just about getting things done—it was about allowing God to shape me through it all.

One thing that surprised me was how much community mattered during the onboarding process. Even though I was anxious and didn’t feel like I was able to fully showcase my personality, the people there embraced me as I was. It was a humbling reminder that I don’t have to be “on” all the time to be loved or valued. Sometimes, just being present is enough.

In many ways, my anxiety made it hard to fully engage the way I wanted to. There were moments when I felt like I could’ve contributed more or connected more deeply with others. But even in those moments of self-doubt, I was met with kindness and grace from the people around me. It was a powerful reminder that I am not defined by my anxieties or by how I feel in the moment. God is working through me, even when I’m not at my best.

The two-week program went by faster than I expected. Despite the initial skepticism, I walked away feeling grateful for the experience. I didn’t just learn more about Mercy Ships’ mission and values—although those things were certainly important—I learned about myself in ways I hadn’t anticipated. It gave me time to pause and reflect on my own journey, my growth, and the work God is doing in me, even in difficult and uncertain times.

Another big takeaway was the importance of rest. It’s easy to get caught up in the idea that we always have to be doing, striving, achieving. But sometimes, the most powerful thing we can do is to step back, take a breath, and allow ourselves the space to recharge. That week in Seattle was a turning point. By giving myself permission to rest, I was able to enter onboarding refreshed and ready to engage, instead of burned out and disconnected.

Now back in Sierra Leone, I feel a renewed sense of purpose. I know that the journey is long and often challenging, but it is in these moments of rest, reflection, and community that we find the strength to keep going. The onboarding experience wasn’t just about preparing for the mission ahead—it was about reconnecting with the heart of why I serve in the first place: to love others as God loves us, to walk humbly in this calling, and to trust that even in moments of anxiety or uncertainty, I am not alone.

I have left this experience feeling more connected to myself, to the people around me, and to God. The lessons I’ve learned will carry me forward as I continue my journey with Mercy Ships, knowing that there is always room for growth, and that rest is not a luxury—it’s a necessity.